The Rampaging Colbert (film)
Written by God himself and Stephen Colbert, this is the film adaptation of the comic book, The Rampaging Colbert. (based on true events) Plot Dr. Stephen T. Colbert D.F.A. is working as a television pundit, working with his girlfriend Charlene (Jennifer Connelly) when he is visited by General David Petraeus (Jon Cryer). Colbert and Charlene are asked to be contracted to create a new type of weapon. This new weapon is known as a "truthiness bomb" for the United States Government. This weapon is designed to split the nucleus of the truthicule, resulting in a radiation of truthiness rays with a truthitude of approximately 20,000 tons of TNT. Developed in the deep underground bunker below the Colbert & Charlene's Lab, The "Eagle's Nest", Dr. Colbert is beginning to run out of time to build his weapon, so decides to use no science in the creation of the weapon, instead using the enormous strength of his gut to pick and choose its components and construction. On the day that the weapon is to be tested in San Francisco, the San Fransisco Zoo accidentally releases the evil bear known as[[Colbear]] (David Rockerfeller) Stephen notices the Godless Killing Machine crossing the street. Overcome with rage, Colbert, unable to control his hatred for bears which is later revealed that he has had since he was a child, charges the bear. The countdown on the bomb is not halted however, and Dr. Colbert and the bear are both caught in the blast. His levels of truthiness, become superhuman, become superstantially higher and he is transformed into an enormous and incredibly strong green beast. He proceeds to throttle the godless killing machine with his bare hands, however, the bear has also gone through a transformation and becomes the Colbear. Eventually, Colbert defeats the Colbear, who is eventually put back into the zoo because the zookeepers are unaware of his transformation. The giant version of Colbert runs off from the forces of Petraeus, and in time, Colbert's balls return to normal size. However, Colbert realizes that whenever he becomes particularly angry, he turns into the massive green beast. Pondering his time, The Colbear eventually escapes from the zoo, killing the zookeepers, and kidnapping Charlene. He takes her to a nuclear power plant. He tells her that if she doesn't activate the plant by midnight, he would eat her. he reveals that bears live off of nuclear energy, so if he absorbs the entire nuclear plant, then he would live forever. Colbert is walking by a T.V. Store and sees the hostage situation on the TV. He uses all of his might to get angry at liberals in order to trigger a transformation. He then hurries to the power plant. Him & The Colbear Engage in a heated battle, And when all hope seems lost, Colbert Finally overpowers The Colbear, & throws him into the plant. Causing It to explode, injuring Charlene. The Colbear Is put into custody of Petraeus and then orders his troops to attack Colbert assuming he is also a monster. Three months later, Colbert visits Charlene, only to realize that she blames him for her injuries, and puts a restraining order on him. Petraeus puts Colbert second on the FBI's Wost wanted list (Next to Obama Osama Bin Laden.) Colbert is now living in Alaska, Trying to control the monster within him. The monster known as... The Rampaging Colbert in the film.]] Cast :*. Stephen Colbert: Dr. Stephen T. Colbert D.F.A./The Rampaging Colbert ::*A former Television pundit who becomes The Rampaging Colbert :*. Jennifer Connelly: Charlene ::*Colbert's Girlfriend at the time. :*. Jon Cryer: General David Petraeus ::*The general who asks Colbert to help him build his super-weapon :*. David Rockerfeller: The Colbear ::*A former zoo animal who becomes Super-powered :*. Jon Stewart cameos as a Rabbi who is squashed by The Rampaging Colbert Critical Response The Film has been voted as the greatest film of all time. Box Office Performance The Film has earned $1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00 (one hexillion) in the box office Sequel See Full Article: The Rampaging Colbert 2